Dr. Lawn Gnome Eradicates The First Date
Faucism has ruined more first dates the past two years than Joe Biden has brain cells left. What used to be a mystery until at least the main course arrives, is now obvious before the waitress comes
There used to be a time back in the yester years, when going on a first date was something to look forward to. You’d get cleaned up, dress well, give yourself a little pep-talk (it’s an only child thing), buy her flowers, make sure your truck was clean, pick a nice restaurant, get there before her, make sure you got a good table (not by the kitchen), if she drank wine you’d pick a red option and a white option (not the cheap stuff either) a head of time to suggest as options so she sees you’re confident, as she approached you’d stand up to greet her, take her coat, pull-out her chair and compliment her on how she looks. From that point on it’s whit, humour and trying hard not to embarrass yourself too much. If you had a good vibe, the night was easy and fun. If you had to work hard, the date could be a challenge. Either way, almost all the time you’d be able to get thru a meal with her and it would be fairly obvious where things were going by then. I’m not a one night stand guy and I admit that without hesitation. I like having a connection and be interested in a woman before anything else. Its far more rewarding to your brain and to your heart when you don’t act on the basic instinct of lust. I also don’t care if that makes me seem_______. I’m in it for more than a shallow and empty round of horizontal slip and slide. I’ve never understood the one night stand thing at all, to be quite honest. It does nothing for me and never will.
After two years and change of watching society devolve into groups of neurotic muppets or true critical thinkers, I’ve come to experience that the possibility of having a great time on a first date has been almost entirely eradicated before I get thru taking her coat to hang up.
What the hell happened to women in my city? Is this just a “my city” problem? I haven’t travelled in a while so I really don’t have a control group to compare this. Something tells me its not just this city that has lost its mind.
Ok, I know its not a large sample size, but I’ve been on two dates this year. - If you knew about my situation and where my attention is focused currently, you’d be dumbfounded that I managed to even go on one date let alone two - I know two dates paints me as this and that, but whatever you think about my “only two dates”, it doesn’t change anything about what I highlight in this post.
Both dates were of the “you should meet ____ she’d be perfect for you Mark. I’ll send her your number. Oh my God you’re going to love her.. _____ is really cute and she is really nice…..blah blah blah…” kind, but I figured it might be worth some effort because you miss 100% of the shot you don’t take, as Michael Jordan is famous for saying.
Things started off well with _____ over text and phone calls. She was cute and nice as I was promised. I am so damn busy that I can’t do long phone chats unless they are late at night, which sucks, but its how it is. I asked her if we could get together sooner than later because she appeared to be right up my alley. Yes, I was interested and needed to further investigate the “good so far” aspect of our conversations. On a side note, right off the batt, I told her I didn’t want to discuss Covid at all until later on if things got to that point. I know how quickly that subject can make two people hate each other, and over text message (which I hate for anything more than a quick back and fourth) is the worst way someone who likes to make people laugh like me, can make a case for himself. So, we left the negative stuff about the past two years in the box and focused on the simple and positive stuff. We set a date about 7 days after our “getting to know you quick” phase started. I was actually looking forward to a first date for the first time in probably five years. I was actually a touch nervous for this one which is a good motivator to make sure you’re on form. Every detail leading up to the first date was just falling into place. My hopes were actually high and it was a great feeling to have….
The second date with ____ wasn’t as positive from the start, but I am a hopeless romantic and I always give things a shot. You never know what can happen and NO ONE should be judged off a few text messages unless they are blatantly obvious right away. It needed no further discussing as it was obvious in the texts that she was a polar opposite on every single value I hold and stand by, but I got thru the meal and no sparks were discovered. It was over before it started.
Back to the first girl…
Some of you might not agree with my choice to ban Covid talk until a time in the future, but I was always taught by my Dad that sometimes, what you think could be a major factor, might not matter at all after you’ve learned about the rest first. Relationships are a balance of big and little things, and the little things are something mature people have the ability to talk about. So, its a pros and cons game, but I am still not one to settle just because society says I should.
I was so pumped waiting at the table for the first girl. Things seemed so positive and interesting about her, I was 98% sure the Covid “talk” wouldn’t really be much of an issue. Welp, you know when you see someone that is advertising openly to anyone around them, without uttering a word, that they should be avoided at all cost….
She walked in the door and my first thought and instinct was “man, I feel sorry for the guy who has to put up with her all the time”…. I think at that moment, my brain was not willing to admit that it had been dead wrong about being excited to meet her. There were no warning signs in all the texts and short phone calls about who walked thru that door. She had on; two masks, a full face shield and gloves, was holding a bottle of sanitizer and had quick wipes sticking out of her coat pocket (100% serious). I’m not sure if the young girl working at the front door podium to greet people felt sorry for me, or was laughing so hard on the inside when my date saw me standing at the table and waved... Most of you have probably been in a situation like this before. Trapped, with only two options to choose from… - I’m not an asshole towards anyone unless I am treating poorly, but holy shit did she ever give my moral standards a serious shake-up at that moment -. Seeing as how I tend to dig deeper than first appearances, I convinced myself there could be a reason for all of this Covid theater. I came up with two possibilities; she has a great sense of humour and is going all out to screw with me (I have a sick sense of humour and would dig this type of joke), or she might be so excited for the date that she came even though she is sick. Ya, I was grasping at straws, but I jumped in for the challenge…
The meal went as expected when it was 100% clear she had fallen for all of the talking points and propaganda. I decided it wasn’t worth trying to discuss CV19 fallacies and tried to focus on other things without giving away a smile or my thoughts. The last straw came when she asked if there was a gluten free vegan option on the menu. I am polite, but very honest to a fault, and told her we’d never get along having such different views on the major issues. A bullet was dodge and we went our separate ways after the full minute of silence passed while waiting for the bill (the man always picks-up the check in my world).
I highlight this story not to focus on the date itself, but to bring attention to what was done to my date. Tam, Fauci, the media, the politicians, the public health officials and the ignorant/lazy scared people in her life had brainwashed so many good people that it will lead to a major drop in the number of people getting married, staying married or even having kids. The propaganda (any mass brainwashing) will destroy relationships and eventually tare the fabric of humanity apart. The division between family and friends - I was affected immensely by this phenomenon - will only cause a regression of society and grow the festering hate at exponential rates. We’ve allowed the perpetrators of lies to take hold of the fragile minds of a majority, just so they can bring in their ideology and assume control over the lives of the weak to further their own psychotic agenda.
Unless common sense and logic become a far reaching mainstream idea again, in three generations or less, society will cease to function and the minds and lives of children will bow in unison at the feet of the controllers and masters.
Save those who are willing. Abandon those who won’t accept responsibility for their mistakes and hate filled lives. You will thank me as the benefits of doing so will appear quickly. You will feel free and focused on what matters to you and your future. That is the true key to happiness within your own skin, and it will attract the same energy you now posses and exude.
Mark Bocij